Stepping Away is Critical to Your Well Being

       Getting off the treadmill that is daily life these days is becoming more and more important as I get further away from my 18th birthday. The month of June marked another year of an even greater distance from that milestone. Day in and day out from that point on to about a year ago I was on the bandwagon like so many millions of us around the country and around the globe. Up before dawn with a whole bunch of things on the to do list only to find that 16 hours later the list was incomplete and some items had to be shifted to the next day. It quickly became a vicious cycle that was not just a Monday through Friday thing, but something that encroached on Saturday and Sunday first but soon those days became as bad as Monday through Friday.

It was about a year ago that a light bulb went on above my head, something that is occurring more and more these days. It probably comes with age...something akin to older but wiser. The realization hit that it was not worth it. Going full bore 16 or so hours a day seven days a week was simply not healthy. So changes were made. From Friday at 5:00 to at least Saturday at 5:00 the electronic bus is parked. No websites, no email, no checking for text messages on the phone. All of that will be there after 5:00 on Saturday and it's hard to believe that any of those things require immediate attention since it is a Friday night into Saturday. ( If people needed information for something on Saturday more than seven hours advance notice is probably a good thing. It has become a very freeing experience and something that is greatly anticipated.

            Another key to regaining some balance is to do things you like as opposed to what others like. I recently spent two "glorious" days at a country club watching a Senior PGA tour competition. The Senior Tour is great for several reasons. The crowds are smaller than the regular tour meaning you can get closer to the golfers. It also means more room around tee boxes and greens to just plop down and watch some action. It's kind of peaceful.

            There is something about digging in the dirt that is just as peaceful. I've taken a liking to flower gardening. There is something magical about planting something and having the anticipating about what it will look like. Plus it allows a person to get away from it all for a couple of hours. It also means normally that I get to spend time with my wife...and that has become increasingly important after 16 years of marriage.

            There are several other examples that could be listed here but instead, find your own way to unplug from the day to day existence so many of us get caught in. And do something you really like to do. All of that other stuff will wait.

Being A True Optimist

There are always going to be days that bring the unexpected. Sometimes those days present themselves with opportunities while others present challenges that can lead to opportunities. One of those days reared its head recently and had it come at a different stage of life the end result might have been quite different.

The car was in need of an oil change and other routine maintenance. You may already know where this is going. The car has 111 thousand miles and then some so you expected the unexpected. Sure enough the mechanic calls and says, "You know that noise you are hearing? One of the sway bar link has broken and the other one (I didn't know there were two) was about to go. Anytime there is a part of an automobile that you know nothing about it's usually bad news for the wallet.

At a different time in life this would have been a traumatic experience. But I have learned something along the way. Setbacks like this actually happen all the time. It's what you do with them that makes the difference. There was some grumbling between my wife and me about the $25 dollar oil change suddenly costing a a couple hundred more and change. There was the discussion about paying for it and how no matter how hard we try we never seem to be able to clear a credit card balance completely. And there was that general sinking feeling inside that we all get when we have to spend money on something we didn't want to spend it on.

But the bottom line is the car is quieter now, probably safer and I was able to take the high road. I believe if you set your mind in advance to accept the stuff life throws at us from time to time it's easier to maintain your balance. Just think about it... because if today was a bad one tomorrow should be better...especially if you have the mind set to look at the "Sunny Side of Everything....."

Excerpt in quotations taken from the Optimist Creed written by Christian D. Larson 1912

Music Lyrics and the Cuurent Generation

There is a new study out worth making a note that was first brought to light by the New York Times on April 25, 2011 and followed up on NPR's All Things Considered program the following day. http://www.npr.org/2011/04/26/135745227/study-narcissism-on-rise-in-pop-lyrics?ps=cprs/ The study focused on 20 years of music in pop music dating back to 1987. The study, this is the Reader' Digest Condensed Version, indicated that lyrics had change from soft tones about togetherness and love to more of an individual tone that had a real edge to it. Check out the study for examples of the lyrics. If the study's conclusions are in fact accurate, it seems clear then why civility is losing ground these days. When pop music has taken a turn toward a "me,myself and I mentality, it would appear feasible to conclude that could be one of the reasons a younger generation that I is more bent on getting whatever they can out of life instead of working towards a common good. Don't get me wrong. I am not painting with a brush using broad strokes here. But it seems apparent to me that this is one of the reasons there is a lot more thought about self, more vanity and more egotism in the world today. My two cents worth on this particular day about what is hurting us as a society. If we thought more about everyone else and how our actions impacted them we'd all be better off.

140 Character Conference Des Moines

It was late February when the notice first crossed my desk. The next 140 Character Conference was going to be held in Des Moines is early May. Being a child of the 70's that begged the question, "What is the 140 Character Conference." I had no clue. So with the help of Google and a couple of other links I learn its a conference about Twitter and how it has impacted society from a professional and personal standpoint. Speakers were being sought and it was given some thought before the phone rang and five other things happened in the office. The idea was forgotten. Then came April 14th when, where else, A tweet showed up on Tweet Deck. They were still calling for speakers even though the original sign up deadline has passed two weeks prior. This time the form was filled out and lo and behold the reply back from one of the organizers was"Of course you can speak" So I get ten minutes... five about how Twitter has affected us in my profession as a journalist and how it has impacted the service organization Optimist International. This should be fun and enlightening. Certainly this child of the 70's might learn a thing or two about how to make better use of something that only allows for 140 characters. The conference is May 9th beginning at 8:30 in the morning at the Stoner Theatre in downtown Des Moines. More than 200 people will be in attendance. Maybe you should join us. http://desmoines.140conf.com

The Delete Key

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and I resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times being the charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds.

The key is to have some backbone. The technology of this day and age has made it easy for people to ignore one another. It’s called the delete key. That one key on the computer puts up a brick wall to communication. If it wasn’t so functional for other purposes, like correcting my mistakes as I typed this, I would suggest keyboards of the future be made without a delete key. We know that will never happen so it would appear it would be better to deal with the situation in another way.

It’s s okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone asks you for a yes or a no in an email or for that matter just a response, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. I feel better now.

Jim Boyd
Pres. Keys 4 Life
www.keys-4-life.com
515-707-3956

How 'No" Can be a Good Thing Part 2

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times are a charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds. The key is to have some backbone. It is okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. It doesn't hurt me. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone ask you for a yes or a no, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. Now I feel better:)

How "No" Can Be a Good Thing. Part 1

You have to admit it is a simple word yet it carries a powerful meaning. Those two letters in that order mean rejection for most people. It could be rejection of an idea or project. It could be rejection of an emotion as happens so often between men and women. It is especially difficult on the young who often times figuratively go off a cliff when someone they are close to rejects them. I can still remember that first crushing time I heard it from a girl in high school who I was dating at the time. I thought the world would come to an end. It's now 36 years later and the world has not come to an end. The word has not hurt me even though I have heard it innumerable times since then including in the situation that resulted in the end of my first marriage. But this little two letter word is actually a character builder. I firmly believe that every time it is heard, whether it is for a little thing or something of major consequence, the word NO can become a personal character builder. Every time I am rejected, for whatever reason, I make the effort to analyze the "no". Was it something I said during the presentation of my idea that caused the other person or group to be turned off to it? Did I go into the situation unprepared and came across that way? Was I over the top in the presentation and that is what turned people off to the idea? Regardless, I take time to to learn from the "no" so that in the future I have more of an opportunity to hear the word "yes". This is not to say that every time you hear the word "no" that you can do something to turn that particular situation around. It's possible from time to time and depends largely on the circumstances you are in that led to the "no" in the first place. But what I am saying is that hearing the word "no" in most cases presents a tremendous learning opportunity for personal growth and development. I believe that is a lot better than thinking the world is going to come to an end. Part two of "No Can be a Good Thing will be posted no later than Thursday.