How 'No" Can be a Good Thing Part 2

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times are a charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds. The key is to have some backbone. It is okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. It doesn't hurt me. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone ask you for a yes or a no, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. Now I feel better:)

How "No" Can Be a Good Thing. Part 1

You have to admit it is a simple word yet it carries a powerful meaning. Those two letters in that order mean rejection for most people. It could be rejection of an idea or project. It could be rejection of an emotion as happens so often between men and women. It is especially difficult on the young who often times figuratively go off a cliff when someone they are close to rejects them. I can still remember that first crushing time I heard it from a girl in high school who I was dating at the time. I thought the world would come to an end. It's now 36 years later and the world has not come to an end. The word has not hurt me even though I have heard it innumerable times since then including in the situation that resulted in the end of my first marriage. But this little two letter word is actually a character builder. I firmly believe that every time it is heard, whether it is for a little thing or something of major consequence, the word NO can become a personal character builder. Every time I am rejected, for whatever reason, I make the effort to analyze the "no". Was it something I said during the presentation of my idea that caused the other person or group to be turned off to it? Did I go into the situation unprepared and came across that way? Was I over the top in the presentation and that is what turned people off to the idea? Regardless, I take time to to learn from the "no" so that in the future I have more of an opportunity to hear the word "yes". This is not to say that every time you hear the word "no" that you can do something to turn that particular situation around. It's possible from time to time and depends largely on the circumstances you are in that led to the "no" in the first place. But what I am saying is that hearing the word "no" in most cases presents a tremendous learning opportunity for personal growth and development. I believe that is a lot better than thinking the world is going to come to an end. Part two of "No Can be a Good Thing will be posted no later than Thursday.

Testimony Can be Humbling

I spoke at a ministry for the underemployed and the unemployed on Monday, August 16 sponsored by Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines. This goes to show that even though as a speaker you are there to provide encouragement and motivation to them lessons can be learned as well from the speaker's podium. The message was to trust and to have faith because no matter how hard we try of individuals to go it alone, God is in charge. These faces that were looking back at me were ones of hope, fear, uncertainty, and ambivalence> All were searching for something and many wished they were not there. But I also sensed an interest in the ministry, a longing by the participants for something positive in a daily existence that lacks a lot of that. It taught me immediately that being thankful for what one has, no matter how much or how little is critical in this day of a very fragile society. I look around at the blessings I have been given and I need to be saying thanks more often than I do. My sense is those people at the ministry can say thanks even though they have less than many others. Which means those of us who have more, need to get to work on saying thanks more often. It is a great ministry worthy of support and of prayer.

Rejuvenation

I haven't updated the blog for a few weeks because there was a need for relaxation and rejuvenation.

Study after recent study has shown a significant percentage of workers in the U.S. do not take full advantage of vacation time offered them. For those who do, the temptation to check in as opposed to checking out becomes too great. There is a fear they may miss something if they do not check their home email or their Face book page or they feel a need to update the world through their Twitter account.

But think for a moment what it was like before all of that was around. The 90's for email and the past decade for the social media explosion. Yet we all survived and I submit we probably enjoyed the time away from work much more without feeling the constant need to check this or update that.

I admit I took my laptop on vacation to Colorado. But as it turns out I really did not need to. I was able to resist the temptation. Over the two weeks I caved in only twice by checking the email at home. (I learned a long time ago the benefits of not checking the office email account because it was a vacation from work. Nor did I ever check in with the office.) And the emails I did answer while on vacation from my home account could have all easily waited until I returned.

The end result was a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation which was badly needed. It's really easy to do and if you'd like to learn how, I have a seminar in development that will help you unplug and enjoy a fuller life.

Respect

This could be described as a teaching moment if for no one else but me. But I'll share anyway. The week of June 21 I spent 24 hours embedded with a unit of the Iowa National Guard at Camp Ripley in Minnesota. 28-hundred members of the Second Brigade Combat Team were going through the initial training as they prepped for deployment to Afghanistan this fall. After getting there in the back of a Chinook helicopter I quickly came to realize how I had under estimated members of the military.

Late June in northern Minnesota while cooler then most places can still be warm and humid. Such was the case when I was there and you would never know it to talk to the soldiers. This despite the fact that they all have to go through the paces of training with helmet and body armor on. I had to wear it too and was dripping wet in sweat in 30-seconds. Not a soldier was heard complaining.

But even more impressive was the universal response I got from those I talked to about being deployed to one of the toughest parts of the world. They all said they were willing to make the sacrifice so others would not have to. It occurs to me that these members of the Nation Guard in Iowa, have it down when it comes to servant leadership. They work to help others in either domestic or international settings who cannot help themselves. They work to better the lives of other people. They do so without a second thought.

Yes I learned something in that 24 hour period and I share it because I think we can all learn something from it.

Lessons from the Sump Pump

It is funny how things work out sometime. My wife and I have some friends who we unexpectedly spent some time with on Saturday. But before I get to that I have go back a bit.

It's been raining a lot in this part of Iowa of late. Heavy rain of 1 to two inches in less than a couple of hours. That's exactly what happened on Saturday when it started to pour around 4:30 AM and did not stop until close to eight. I started a load of wash about that time and a hour later went downstairs to move it to the dryer. The floor was wet. I discovered the sump pump had stopped and water was coming in through the foundation. I yelled to my wife to call some friends to see if they had a shop vac. They did not...but they did have expertise. Tim and his son Justin came over while his wife, Gail, rounded up a Shop Vac. Soon the five of us were in the basement moving things while Tim exclaimed after an investigation that the Sump Pump had pumped its last. We quickly bought another one and he was willing to stick hand and arm in more than elbow deep water to yank out the old one and put in the new one while the rest of us keep sweeping and bailing.

They did not have to do it. But despite busy schedules, they threw them aside to help friends in need. And they saved those friends at least a couple of C notes to boot. The unselfnish nature demonstrated by them yesterday is clearly a lesson each of us should learn from. Life is full of inconveniences. But there are some that actually turn out to be blessings in more than one way. Such was the case in my basement on that Saturday morning.

So the next time the phone rings and someone you know could use an extra set of hands...put your busy schedule aside and serve that friend. The friendship will be stronger for it and we could all use some of that in these times. Besides, there's always tomorrow for that busy schedule.

New in Blogosphere

This is the first entry for the Keys-4-Life Blog. I will use this area to post thoughts about life and tidbits for people to try to use to make life a little better and maybe even a little easier. Like the need for all of us to from time to time step back from the electronic age. Just last month I was at the Civic Center in Des Moines to enjoy the "South Pacific" with my wife. As the first act came to a close and the lights came up I could not help but notice four women sitting in front of us. Three of them immediately whipped out their cell phones and two of them checked their Facebook page. Seriously, can we not get through a performance of a musical or any event that lasts two hours or more without feeling the urge to be connected with the outside world. It will still be there in a couple of hours. Go ahead...turn it off. You might find it actually a freeing experience.