Looking for Some Help

There comes a time when you decide to make a move. A decision that could very well impact the rest of your life.  This is one of those decisions.  I have been trying to get this speaking business of the ground for more than a year now.  There is at least one if not more than one obstacle is my way.  I have a full time job that is demanding, intense and usually satisfying.  But is leaves little time to develop my passion for speaking publicly.  I am not a boastful person but I will honestly say that I am very good in front of a group of people.  My message is well received and the people listening actually have several take aways after a presentation.  Check out the the testimonial page on my websites.  The quotes are real.

What I am looking for is some assistance in booking appearances.  I can blog to my heart's content and I can blindly make phone calls or send emails.  But what I am looking for is a reference or two about companies that help public speakers get opportunities to speak.  Suggestions will be more than welcomed at jim.boyd4512@gmail.com .  If you are reading this and you actually are from a company that provides services to public speakers seeking engagements then by all means please contact me. 

The bottom line is that I am hungry to pursue this endeavor.  I just need someone or some company to point me in a few directions.  Thanks

The Benefits of Making Time

We are all very busy.  It is hard to find someone, no anyone, who will tell you they have a lot of time on their hands. Instead, when you ask someone about life they will often reply something along the line of "There are not enough hours in the day" or "I really need eight days in a week to get everything accomplished." Here's a good one, "I have so much to do and not enough time to do it." 

Time was made this past weekend for a 13 year old named Colin.  He's one of the grandsons.  He had been promised by his grandfather a few weeks back that he would come and watch him play soccer because the last time his "grandpa" was in the area he was injured and couldn't play.  This was not one of those events that required a trip of a few block or across town.  It's two and a half hours one way.  His grandmother had established a tradition long ago of taking the grand kids out for their birthday for lunch and a present.  "Colin's "grandma" was in another state on this latest visit so "grandpa", for the first time, took on the birthday duties.  Lunch was at one his favorite places for "shrimp" and then it was on to a book store to get the latest two editions in a literary series Colin was reading.  ( They were on his birthday and Christmas list)  When grandpa took him home he was told a hug was needed for grandpa and grandma too.  It was the strongest  hug I had had in a long time.

The subsequent two and a half hour drive was a joy.  I was in the clouds.  The connection made that day is one I will never forget and it provide a valuable lesson or two.  I could have stayed home but if I had I would have missed the blessing of getting to know one of the grand children a little better and I would have missed a gift that was for me.  Some may know this and for some this may be news but when you give..often times what you are giving to gives back.  In this case is was conversation, a hug and a smile or two.  Plus a care free drive home.  I count four Benefits of Making Time and that is a pretty good return on the investment.  So the next time you find yourself presented with a similar situation whether it be family or something else...make the time.  All the other "stuff" can wait.  But these precious opportunities don't come by all that often.

Peace of Mind in the Middle of the Storm

Life is always teaching you something.  Today, October 13, is a perfect example.  It was tough from the get go because this week in my profession requires the alarm to go off at 2:45 in the morning.  The stress inherent in that alone would drive some people to drink. (I quit 10 years ago)  Work was less than enjoyable, and yes there are days it is a joy, because I was down right tired. The trip home was anticipated to see the new tree planted in our backyard only to find it had not been done.  They found  an underground cable no one previously knew about.  The situation was being investigated while the furnace technician was in the basement doing the routine fall maintenance.  The Reader's Digest condensed version of the story is that the furnace needs to be replaced.  The storm clouds had already formed even before the tree saga began to unfold and the storm was raging as my wife and I talked about the financial obligation that was ahead of us.  Yet, despite all of that, I can sit here tonight in relative calm and with a sense of peace of mind. 

Maybe it was the walk with the dog before the sun went down tonight.   Maybe it was knowing that no matter what life throws at you, it can be dealt with in a positive way.  Case in point, the experiences of today led to time for thought and a long overdue blog post.  But maybe,  even more importantly, it's the confidence that I will make it through tonight and tomorrow and in the long run the events of today are just the bumps in the road that are a part of life. 

Perspective is a very important part of life and it's been clear to me for a number of years that we all need to take a step back and put days like the one just described into perspective.  It's just one day.  What happened on this day cannot be undone. I can only look forward to another day tomorrow.  I believe its perspective like this that provides Peace of Mind in the Middle of the Storm.

Dealing with the negative

I was speaking recently at a convention in Arizona when someone posted a question about negativity that subsequently allowed for a teaching moment.  Here’s the set up.  An organization is in a meeting.  There is someone who has a negative streak a mile long who tries to stifle discussions about new ideas  claiming anything new must be approved by the groups board of directors..  The concern was over relatively new members in the group to become discouraged and disinterested if their ideas are not at least heard. 

This could be a viable solution. I told the questioner to let the person with the negative streak know that he was right, the board of directors had the final say.  But at the same time, everyone in the group at a meeting or in another arena is entitled to have a say.  This did not mean that the person who had the idea would actually see it approved.  But at least they would be heard. 

This example allows both people to maintain their positions without alienating anyone.  The person who has the new ideas fells empowered because they have been given the opportunity to share and advocate for their idea.  The person with the negative streak who insists on things being done the same way has also remained engage and should not feel rebuked.  The board of directors does, if you’re recall, have the final say!

Continuation of the Theme

The last post dealt  with the idea of putting away the phone for a while, even a short period of time, as a means of focusing on what is happening in life now and getting away from what can be a distraction.  Little did  I realize that just a few days later a respected news organization would publish a story about the very topic. There was a story the week of August 26 from the Associated Press entitled "Sleep With Your I-Phone, You're Not Alone."  http://tinyurl.com/3ffc5jw    One of the key points made in the story is the growing fear that young people would prefer to interact with their phones as opposed to other people.  It mention how the smart phone, for all of its benefits for making life easier, is becoming an addiction for a lot of people.  This is a short post on this Sunday because the answer is very clear to me.  It is okay to put down your smart phone.  You do not have to check it every ten minutes  for messages, or to see if someone has updated their Face book status.  Any messages you receive will still be there in an hour or two.  And does the world really need to know the latest and sometimes very trivial development in your life?  This can all wait.  Waiting also affords you a tremendous opportunity and that is to engage in some great conversation or interaction with a human being and not a machine

Stretching the Definition of Vacation

I had some R&R time recently.  My wife and I traveled west to the mountains of Colorado and the base of Beaver Creek Mountain where the temperature never got above 75 during the day and at times hovered around 50 at night. ( It was glorious considering the heat index in Iowa that week was between 115 and 120.)  We stayed at the Westin Resort and there were times that I wondered whether we were actually on vacation.  First it seemed like a bad sign when we loaded the car and both of our laptops were making the trip. When I take vacation its supposed to be a get away from it all including a getaway from the electronic world because we all seem to be tied to it day in and day out.  Writing this blog us just one example. But while I checked email a few times and did a little work associated with my business Keys 4 Life, I was astounded at what I saw people doing at the pool and on the mountain. 

Here we were at a perfect time for relaxation, a time to "get away from it all" and people are sunbathing while checking their phone for messages or updating their Face book status.  Come on! Does staying connected have to be so important these days that we cannot disconnect for just a couple of hours?  I saw a father running after a toddler who was going from hot tub to pool and in transit..he was checking his phone.  Nothing can be that important.  We were in one of the most beautiful parts of the country.  Why can't that be enough?  I finally wised up about half way through our vacation.  The laptop went into a corner of our room and wasn't opened until we got home five days later.  I also intentionally left my cell phone in my room the final two days of the trip.  It was a very freeing experience. I think we all should do the same...just for a couple of days. 

The vacation with my wife was great and yes...most of the time we got a long just fine.  In fact, one of her co workers today was actually surprised that we went on vacation together, alone, and had fun doing so.  We'll do it again in early December when we spend a week in Cancun.  And I'll make sure that I leave the laptop at home.  My guess is I won't miss it and I bet you wouldn't either if you left it home when you head out on vacation the next time. 

Young People and Yearning

I spoke recently at a youth conference in Baltimore, Maryland. In attendance were about six or seven dozen high school aged students.  Several adults and some young people from the college aged crowd were there as well. The topic was understanding self worth, developing a passion in life to help others and remembering that the most important person in your life is you.  The talk went very well but it was what happened afterward that really had an impact and a life lesson.

 

A 15 year old girl came up to me with eyes that said she was searching for answers.  She told me she did not know what she was going to do with her life and she was having trouble making finding a focus.  It turns out she was a spitting image of the “teenager from the 21^st century.”  She was involved in five different sports at school and 13 student organizations or activities.  No wonder she was having trouble. It sounded like the kind of schedule that was designed for disaster or at the very least, exhaustion.

It really doesn’t matter that she had not found a direction in her life.  I told her I did not figure that out until the age of 44 which meant she had plenty of time. The real key here is that she was yearning for a direction.  Counsel followed with a suggestion to slowly begin to pull back. Instead of 13 activities or organizations cut it in half next year and in half again the following year.  Perhaps she could do the same in sports.  The point is the key to direction in life is finding something that becomes passionate for you. You cannot do that with 13 activities and five sports.  As you reduce those numbers the activities or causes that remain come to the top and develop into passions.  They often times develop into life long callings. 

 

So for the over scheduled, go ahead and reduce that clutter in your life. Take a hard look at your calendar and decide what should stay and what should go. Then focus on the items, causes or organizations that remain and enjoy

Stepping Away is Critical to Your Well Being

       Getting off the treadmill that is daily life these days is becoming more and more important as I get further away from my 18th birthday. The month of June marked another year of an even greater distance from that milestone. Day in and day out from that point on to about a year ago I was on the bandwagon like so many millions of us around the country and around the globe. Up before dawn with a whole bunch of things on the to do list only to find that 16 hours later the list was incomplete and some items had to be shifted to the next day. It quickly became a vicious cycle that was not just a Monday through Friday thing, but something that encroached on Saturday and Sunday first but soon those days became as bad as Monday through Friday.

It was about a year ago that a light bulb went on above my head, something that is occurring more and more these days. It probably comes with age...something akin to older but wiser. The realization hit that it was not worth it. Going full bore 16 or so hours a day seven days a week was simply not healthy. So changes were made. From Friday at 5:00 to at least Saturday at 5:00 the electronic bus is parked. No websites, no email, no checking for text messages on the phone. All of that will be there after 5:00 on Saturday and it's hard to believe that any of those things require immediate attention since it is a Friday night into Saturday. ( If people needed information for something on Saturday more than seven hours advance notice is probably a good thing. It has become a very freeing experience and something that is greatly anticipated.

            Another key to regaining some balance is to do things you like as opposed to what others like. I recently spent two "glorious" days at a country club watching a Senior PGA tour competition. The Senior Tour is great for several reasons. The crowds are smaller than the regular tour meaning you can get closer to the golfers. It also means more room around tee boxes and greens to just plop down and watch some action. It's kind of peaceful.

            There is something about digging in the dirt that is just as peaceful. I've taken a liking to flower gardening. There is something magical about planting something and having the anticipating about what it will look like. Plus it allows a person to get away from it all for a couple of hours. It also means normally that I get to spend time with my wife...and that has become increasingly important after 16 years of marriage.

            There are several other examples that could be listed here but instead, find your own way to unplug from the day to day existence so many of us get caught in. And do something you really like to do. All of that other stuff will wait.

Being A True Optimist

There are always going to be days that bring the unexpected. Sometimes those days present themselves with opportunities while others present challenges that can lead to opportunities. One of those days reared its head recently and had it come at a different stage of life the end result might have been quite different.

The car was in need of an oil change and other routine maintenance. You may already know where this is going. The car has 111 thousand miles and then some so you expected the unexpected. Sure enough the mechanic calls and says, "You know that noise you are hearing? One of the sway bar link has broken and the other one (I didn't know there were two) was about to go. Anytime there is a part of an automobile that you know nothing about it's usually bad news for the wallet.

At a different time in life this would have been a traumatic experience. But I have learned something along the way. Setbacks like this actually happen all the time. It's what you do with them that makes the difference. There was some grumbling between my wife and me about the $25 dollar oil change suddenly costing a a couple hundred more and change. There was the discussion about paying for it and how no matter how hard we try we never seem to be able to clear a credit card balance completely. And there was that general sinking feeling inside that we all get when we have to spend money on something we didn't want to spend it on.

But the bottom line is the car is quieter now, probably safer and I was able to take the high road. I believe if you set your mind in advance to accept the stuff life throws at us from time to time it's easier to maintain your balance. Just think about it... because if today was a bad one tomorrow should be better...especially if you have the mind set to look at the "Sunny Side of Everything....."

Excerpt in quotations taken from the Optimist Creed written by Christian D. Larson 1912

Music Lyrics and the Cuurent Generation

There is a new study out worth making a note that was first brought to light by the New York Times on April 25, 2011 and followed up on NPR's All Things Considered program the following day. http://www.npr.org/2011/04/26/135745227/study-narcissism-on-rise-in-pop-lyrics?ps=cprs/ The study focused on 20 years of music in pop music dating back to 1987. The study, this is the Reader' Digest Condensed Version, indicated that lyrics had change from soft tones about togetherness and love to more of an individual tone that had a real edge to it. Check out the study for examples of the lyrics. If the study's conclusions are in fact accurate, it seems clear then why civility is losing ground these days. When pop music has taken a turn toward a "me,myself and I mentality, it would appear feasible to conclude that could be one of the reasons a younger generation that I is more bent on getting whatever they can out of life instead of working towards a common good. Don't get me wrong. I am not painting with a brush using broad strokes here. But it seems apparent to me that this is one of the reasons there is a lot more thought about self, more vanity and more egotism in the world today. My two cents worth on this particular day about what is hurting us as a society. If we thought more about everyone else and how our actions impacted them we'd all be better off.

140 Character Conference Des Moines

It was late February when the notice first crossed my desk. The next 140 Character Conference was going to be held in Des Moines is early May. Being a child of the 70's that begged the question, "What is the 140 Character Conference." I had no clue. So with the help of Google and a couple of other links I learn its a conference about Twitter and how it has impacted society from a professional and personal standpoint. Speakers were being sought and it was given some thought before the phone rang and five other things happened in the office. The idea was forgotten. Then came April 14th when, where else, A tweet showed up on Tweet Deck. They were still calling for speakers even though the original sign up deadline has passed two weeks prior. This time the form was filled out and lo and behold the reply back from one of the organizers was"Of course you can speak" So I get ten minutes... five about how Twitter has affected us in my profession as a journalist and how it has impacted the service organization Optimist International. This should be fun and enlightening. Certainly this child of the 70's might learn a thing or two about how to make better use of something that only allows for 140 characters. The conference is May 9th beginning at 8:30 in the morning at the Stoner Theatre in downtown Des Moines. More than 200 people will be in attendance. Maybe you should join us. http://desmoines.140conf.com

The Delete Key

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and I resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times being the charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds.

The key is to have some backbone. The technology of this day and age has made it easy for people to ignore one another. It’s called the delete key. That one key on the computer puts up a brick wall to communication. If it wasn’t so functional for other purposes, like correcting my mistakes as I typed this, I would suggest keyboards of the future be made without a delete key. We know that will never happen so it would appear it would be better to deal with the situation in another way.

It’s s okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone asks you for a yes or a no in an email or for that matter just a response, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. I feel better now.

Jim Boyd
Pres. Keys 4 Life
www.keys-4-life.com
515-707-3956