Music Lyrics and the Cuurent Generation

There is a new study out worth making a note that was first brought to light by the New York Times on April 25, 2011 and followed up on NPR's All Things Considered program the following day. http://www.npr.org/2011/04/26/135745227/study-narcissism-on-rise-in-pop-lyrics?ps=cprs/ The study focused on 20 years of music in pop music dating back to 1987. The study, this is the Reader' Digest Condensed Version, indicated that lyrics had change from soft tones about togetherness and love to more of an individual tone that had a real edge to it. Check out the study for examples of the lyrics. If the study's conclusions are in fact accurate, it seems clear then why civility is losing ground these days. When pop music has taken a turn toward a "me,myself and I mentality, it would appear feasible to conclude that could be one of the reasons a younger generation that I is more bent on getting whatever they can out of life instead of working towards a common good. Don't get me wrong. I am not painting with a brush using broad strokes here. But it seems apparent to me that this is one of the reasons there is a lot more thought about self, more vanity and more egotism in the world today. My two cents worth on this particular day about what is hurting us as a society. If we thought more about everyone else and how our actions impacted them we'd all be better off.

140 Character Conference Des Moines

It was late February when the notice first crossed my desk. The next 140 Character Conference was going to be held in Des Moines is early May. Being a child of the 70's that begged the question, "What is the 140 Character Conference." I had no clue. So with the help of Google and a couple of other links I learn its a conference about Twitter and how it has impacted society from a professional and personal standpoint. Speakers were being sought and it was given some thought before the phone rang and five other things happened in the office. The idea was forgotten. Then came April 14th when, where else, A tweet showed up on Tweet Deck. They were still calling for speakers even though the original sign up deadline has passed two weeks prior. This time the form was filled out and lo and behold the reply back from one of the organizers was"Of course you can speak" So I get ten minutes... five about how Twitter has affected us in my profession as a journalist and how it has impacted the service organization Optimist International. This should be fun and enlightening. Certainly this child of the 70's might learn a thing or two about how to make better use of something that only allows for 140 characters. The conference is May 9th beginning at 8:30 in the morning at the Stoner Theatre in downtown Des Moines. More than 200 people will be in attendance. Maybe you should join us. http://desmoines.140conf.com

The Delete Key

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and I resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times being the charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds.

The key is to have some backbone. The technology of this day and age has made it easy for people to ignore one another. It’s called the delete key. That one key on the computer puts up a brick wall to communication. If it wasn’t so functional for other purposes, like correcting my mistakes as I typed this, I would suggest keyboards of the future be made without a delete key. We know that will never happen so it would appear it would be better to deal with the situation in another way.

It’s s okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone asks you for a yes or a no in an email or for that matter just a response, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. I feel better now.

Jim Boyd
Pres. Keys 4 Life
www.keys-4-life.com
515-707-3956

How 'No" Can be a Good Thing Part 2

I have to admit that it's one of the things of life that really rubs me the wrong way. Yet I have been unable to really figure out why people do it. I will spend some time to compose a message I intend to send to people via email. Now I know this is dangerous because it has now been several years since email became the most effective yet ineffective means of communication. It is a struggle at times just to get past the automatic deletion or the spam filter but for the sake of this argument let's say we have made it that far. The email requests a response from the person on the receiving end. I could be seeking additional information or a simple yes or no. But there is no response. A couple of days pass and resend the email, usually it has been rewritten it and reduced its size making it even easier for them to respond. Still nothing. I have a rule about three times are a charm. I tell the person on the receiving end that I will quit bothering them if they just tell me they are not interested in what I am presenting. In other words, I want them to tell me, "NO". There is no question this would enhance the communication process and it would save a whole lot of time. But the lack of response is down right rude. I am sure you have all experienced it at one point or another. You are left hanging and the frustration just builds and builds. The key is to have some backbone. It is okay to tell someone no. It won't hurt them. It doesn't hurt me. But to try to simply avoid the issue hoping it will go away demonstrates a lack of maturity and courage. So the next time someone ask you for a yes or a no, have the courtesy to answer them and to do so quickly. You will be better off and so will the other person. Now I feel better:)

How "No" Can Be a Good Thing. Part 1

You have to admit it is a simple word yet it carries a powerful meaning. Those two letters in that order mean rejection for most people. It could be rejection of an idea or project. It could be rejection of an emotion as happens so often between men and women. It is especially difficult on the young who often times figuratively go off a cliff when someone they are close to rejects them. I can still remember that first crushing time I heard it from a girl in high school who I was dating at the time. I thought the world would come to an end. It's now 36 years later and the world has not come to an end. The word has not hurt me even though I have heard it innumerable times since then including in the situation that resulted in the end of my first marriage. But this little two letter word is actually a character builder. I firmly believe that every time it is heard, whether it is for a little thing or something of major consequence, the word NO can become a personal character builder. Every time I am rejected, for whatever reason, I make the effort to analyze the "no". Was it something I said during the presentation of my idea that caused the other person or group to be turned off to it? Did I go into the situation unprepared and came across that way? Was I over the top in the presentation and that is what turned people off to the idea? Regardless, I take time to to learn from the "no" so that in the future I have more of an opportunity to hear the word "yes". This is not to say that every time you hear the word "no" that you can do something to turn that particular situation around. It's possible from time to time and depends largely on the circumstances you are in that led to the "no" in the first place. But what I am saying is that hearing the word "no" in most cases presents a tremendous learning opportunity for personal growth and development. I believe that is a lot better than thinking the world is going to come to an end. Part two of "No Can be a Good Thing will be posted no later than Thursday.

Testimony Can be Humbling

I spoke at a ministry for the underemployed and the unemployed on Monday, August 16 sponsored by Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines. This goes to show that even though as a speaker you are there to provide encouragement and motivation to them lessons can be learned as well from the speaker's podium. The message was to trust and to have faith because no matter how hard we try of individuals to go it alone, God is in charge. These faces that were looking back at me were ones of hope, fear, uncertainty, and ambivalence> All were searching for something and many wished they were not there. But I also sensed an interest in the ministry, a longing by the participants for something positive in a daily existence that lacks a lot of that. It taught me immediately that being thankful for what one has, no matter how much or how little is critical in this day of a very fragile society. I look around at the blessings I have been given and I need to be saying thanks more often than I do. My sense is those people at the ministry can say thanks even though they have less than many others. Which means those of us who have more, need to get to work on saying thanks more often. It is a great ministry worthy of support and of prayer.

Rejuvenation

I haven't updated the blog for a few weeks because there was a need for relaxation and rejuvenation.

Study after recent study has shown a significant percentage of workers in the U.S. do not take full advantage of vacation time offered them. For those who do, the temptation to check in as opposed to checking out becomes too great. There is a fear they may miss something if they do not check their home email or their Face book page or they feel a need to update the world through their Twitter account.

But think for a moment what it was like before all of that was around. The 90's for email and the past decade for the social media explosion. Yet we all survived and I submit we probably enjoyed the time away from work much more without feeling the constant need to check this or update that.

I admit I took my laptop on vacation to Colorado. But as it turns out I really did not need to. I was able to resist the temptation. Over the two weeks I caved in only twice by checking the email at home. (I learned a long time ago the benefits of not checking the office email account because it was a vacation from work. Nor did I ever check in with the office.) And the emails I did answer while on vacation from my home account could have all easily waited until I returned.

The end result was a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation which was badly needed. It's really easy to do and if you'd like to learn how, I have a seminar in development that will help you unplug and enjoy a fuller life.